


Why So Serious?

by orphan_account



Category: Grand Theft Auto V, Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Abuse, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Cussing, Drug Use, F/F, F/M, Gayyyyyyy, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, M/M, Murder, Psychological Torture, Torture, Trans Character, Transphobia, lots of blood
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-11
Updated: 2015-12-11
Packaged: 2018-05-06 05:04:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5404088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I guess I did this for you, Lisa. I mean, I avenged your death, didn’t I? I killed the sons of bitches that took your life. So why do I feel like I’ve failed you? Is it because I became a monster? I thought you loved monsters! You always talked about them! I just want you to be proud of me Lisa! I want to be with you again, but I can’t because I can’t point the gun towards my head, you know? I love you Lisa, I always will, but for some fucking I prefer taking everyone else’s life over mine.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Why So Serious?

**Author's Note:**

> Kay so the main OC in this is based off of the Joker because I'm obsessed. This is in the GTA universe and if you could please leave reviews or constructive criticism that would be amazing. I'm just kind of giving this 'actually posting your fan fictions' thing a shot. Hope you enjoy!

Geoff Ramsey swaggered into his living room. Everyone in the Fake AH Crew was gathered around the the TV with Ryan watching the Lads and Jack play Mario Kart. Ray was of course kicking their asses, but right now there were bigger matters than Waluigi winning all the races in the Leaf Cup. Jack and Geoff had been planning a big heist, one that they thought the crew would be capable of. There was one problem though, they needed another sniper, one just as good as Ray.

“Listen up dickheads!” Geoff announced to his crew. Jack immediately paused the game since she knew what this was about. Gavin made a little ‘aww’, but all five still turned their head to Geoff. “Jack and I have planning a new heist. A big one that will most definitely put our names in the history books. Make us remembered, like we fucking should be,” he began his speech. He could the interest growing in everyone’s eyes except for Jack. She had already known about this heist for the past three weeks, staying up till the early morning. Geoff could see that planning this had taken a toll on her, he could see it from the bags underneath her eyes. He had of course been staying up with her, but he wanted to Jack to take a week off and rest. He knew that she would never do that though. It would take a lot of begging for him to persuade her into taking a break.

“What place are we hitting up this time?” Ryan asked with interest. He knew that it would be crowded, which is why Ryan was on ground duty. Geoff knew how much the man loved to kill and torture others, Ryan was their personal mercenary and hitman. He was very valuable to the crew.

“The Pacific Bank.” Geoff smiled. Michael let out an impressed whistle at his reply.

“Woah. You’re think that we’re ready to hit up that biggest bank in Santos?” Gavin asked with his eyebrows raised.

“We’ve been doing this shit for five years now. Ray was our last official member, and he’s been here for two years. We fucking run this place already, but we haven’t but our claim on that goddamned bank. Jack and I both agree that we need to take it. Of course, we will have some of the unofficial crew members come in. Lindsay, Jeremy, and Matt. One problem though,” he told the crew.

“And what would that be?” Ray asked as he smoked a joint. The kid didn’t have shit in his hands have seconds ago, but that bastard can pull weed out of thin air. Everyone’s learned to just not question it.

“We need another sniper. One just as good as you. If we don’t have both sides of the building covered then shit will most likely go wrong,” Jack answered.

“Do any of you know any snipers that are willing to work with us?” Geoff questioned the crew, looking at every single one of them. Jack didn’t know anyone that they hadn’t pissed off, Gavin looked clueless, as usual, and Michael just shrugged.

“Every sniper that I know of hates my guts,” Ray told his boss.

“I may know someone,” Ryan grabbed his phone out of his pocket. Geoff attempted to look over at the screen and see what he was doing, who he may have been messaging.

“Well, who is it?” Jack asked.

“She’s goes by the Joker. You may have heard of her, may have not. She gets her identity very secret, and I’m pretty damn sure only two people have her phone number. Me and her associate. Anyways, she’s an amazing sniper and mercenary. We did a couple of jobs together when I was a hitman. She works well in a team and is very trustworthy,” he replied. Ryan continued to fly through his contacts until he landed on the proper one.

“I heard of her back when I first started. People say she’s fucking ruthless,” Michael announced.

“She is. Want me to call and ask her to meet us somewhere?” Ryan asked Geoff.

“Yeah. Put in on speaker so we can hear her voice, and tell her to meet us at the usual place,” the boss replied. The usual place being the 636 nightclub. The owner, Matt Hullum, also ran a crew called Rooster Teeth. They were pretty much sister crews, doing their best to stay allied. Matt let the Fake AH Crew hang out at the club all the time and hold interviews for new members there.

Ryan connected the phone to the bluetooth speaker in the penthouse and dialed the number. It only rang three times before someone picked up. “This is the Joker speaking.”

“Hey Ash. It’s Haywood.”

“Haywood? Wow. I haven’t heard from you in three years. How’s it been working with the Fake AH Crew? They treating you well?” The girl spoke with a Brooklyn accent, her voice also having a bit of seductive and enticing flair to it.

“It’s been great. Nice place, chill people, and I get to torture other crew members. You should see my body count since I’ve joined. You still a hitman?” Ryan laughed. They talked like old friends, like they were both sane.

“Of course. Business has been slowing recently though. I had to deny a job the other day and that was my first time ever doing that. People think that I’m changing or something now.”

“What was the job?” Geoff noticed Ryan’s face get a little more serious when he asked this question. “In my entire time of knowing you, you’ve never denied a job.”

“Take out Gavin Free,” she replied. Gavin looked like he had a little wave of terror past through him, but who wouldn’t? “But I knew that he’s a part of your crew. And the only fucking promise I’ve ever made is that I would never attack your crew. We aren’t enemies Haywood. If your crew is allied to you, then they’re allied to me. That’s just how the system works,” she explained. Geoff could already tell that she could be trusted. Any other person in this damn city would have taken the opportunity to put a bullet through Gavin’s head in a second, but she spared him.

“What if I told you that I have a job for you?”

“I would ask for the details.”

Ryan smiled at that reply. “We’re hitting up the Pacific Standard bank. Time for the big heist I guess. One problem though, we need another sniper. Just as good as Brownman. I’ve been you work wonders with that sniper rifle of yours, and I know that you’ve only gotten better since those days. We can discuss it more with the rest of the crew, if you’re willing to meet up with us,” he told her, silently checking with Geoff to make sure that he was onboard, to which Geoff nodded to.

“When and where?”

“Tonight. Eleven o'clock at Studio 636. Just ask for Ramsey’s table and the bartender Meg will point you to the right one.”

“Well I’ll see you there Haywood.”

“See you then Ash.” The call caught off after that. Ryan put his phone back in his pocket.

“Bloody hell, that lady could have been putting a bullet through my head a few days ago. Holy shit,” Gavin exclaimed.

“I made her promise that she wouldn’t hurt my crew before I left. Ash and I are allies, she’s also one of the most loyal sons of bitches in Los Santos. Get on her good side and believe me, you’ll be livin till you’re old and wrinkled. She doesn’t let people on her side die, not if she can prevent it,” Ryan told him.

“Well, she seems trustworthy. I feel like tonight will go over well. Then we’ll take her out of city limits another day and test her shooting. Not that I don’t trust you of course, but we just have to make sure,” Geoff said to Ryan. “Now, I’ve got shit to do. Jack, if you can come with me please. The rest of you, you can start preparing by storing up on ammo. Gavin, call Dan and tell him that we could use some more guns and explosives. You fucks can meet with him,” Geoff ordered. Everyone nodded, and Jack got up and walked with Geoff to his office. First thing he did when he got there was pour a glass of whiskey, then sat down in his large office chair. Jack took a seat on the love-seat next to his desk.

“So, what do we need to do?” Jack asked.

“Prepare for tonight. The last time we hired someone was a year ago. And that was just Jeremy. He was already friends with Matt and Lindsey, so it was basically nothing,” he explained.

“Well, Ryan will be there. He seems to know the more about her than anyone else in this city. But of course, we can go over the basics of what she’ll be doing, what her skills are, the shooting range test, and just introduce her to the crew,” Jack replied. She seemed to have already planned this out, but then again Jack was probably thinking of these questions three weeks ago. “If you want, you can leave the talking to me.”

“This is why I keep you around,” he laughed. Jack was talented, intelligent, and fucking good at piloting. She smiled at Geoff’s little joke and stood up, making her way to sit on Geoff’s lap. It was no secret that the two were seeing each other, they both cared heavily about the other one. Jack helped Geoff start this crew, stood beside him every step of the way. And Geoff made sure that Jack was always comfortable, throughout her transition into being a woman, and throughout her sex change three years ago. Everyone in Los Santos knew that the she was trans, but no one ever knew her story, except Geoff of course.

“Really? I just thought it was because of the blowjobs,” She joked, kissing him gently. Geoff let himself get lost in the taste of coffee and mint, which Jack usually tasted like. The kiss was long, but they finally pulled apart.

“Well, that too,” he replied. “Now come on. I got to make a phone call. If you could please go and get everything in the planning room organized, then that would be wonderful,” he smiled to her. This heist was going to be huge, so he needed to make sure that all of his contacts were on board.

“Of course darling,” and with that, Jack got off of his lap and walked out of the room. Geoff watched her go, and then turned to his computer and started to write out his emails. He needed to message the B Team to make sure that they could make it to the heist, and email Burnie Burns of RT to make sure that they were okay with being backup, if it came down to that. Burnie and Geoff were close friends, but they do their best to stay out each other’s business. On the occasion though, Geoff thought that it would be a good idea to warn the other crew of the Grand Heist. Maybe they should get matching outfits. Nah. That would be too cheesy.

As he wrote his emails, he thought about the Joker. Honestly, if the heist went well and the Joker was willing to, maybe she could be a new member on the B Team, or even join the crew. Her and Ryan apparently worked well together, and she protects the people she works with. He would have to test all of her skills of course, but maybe, just maybe, the Joker could be a new member of the Fake AH Crew.

But right now that wasn’t what he needed to think of. He needed to think of the bulletproof vests that had to be ordered. He needed to make sure that Dan gave everyone plenty of ammo and that the explosives would be properly set up. He needed to give everyone their rules and make sure that this went by flawlessly. Even if that meant more sleepless nights, more throwing things at the wall due to frustration. He knew what would happen during this heist. Someone was bound to get hurt. Most likely one of the Lads. Caleb had to be here, ready to handle whatever injuries came his way. Geoff had to make sure that his crew was ready. He didn’t doubt their abilities, but sometimes they forgot their common sense. Sometimes Ray got a little too high or Michael got a little too drunk on the adrenaline. Sometimes Gavin forgot his parachute so he had to fly down with Michael or Ryan holding on to him. Sometimes Ryan had a little too much fun killing, and he accidentally shot Michael in the arm because of it, confusing him with some bystander. Michael already didn’t trust the masked man so that really didn’t set things off well. Now the crew has more chemistry though. Even if Michael is still a little skeptical of Ryan, they work together wonderfully.

This crew was feared by the city, Geoff knew that. Cities around Los Santos knew of the crew. Every now and then they made national headlines, but that wasn’t good enough. Geoff wanted everyone to know the name of the Fake AH Crew. Geoff wanted people to know about the tattooed man who sat at his desk with a glass of whiskey, who strikes fear in even the mayor of this place. He wanted them to know about the Brit who explodes anything he feels like blowing up. He wanted them to know about the curly head fuck who got pissed off when someone just looked at him wrong, to the point where he just fucking shoots them in the face. He wanted them to know about the girl in the helicopter who banged the man who had the power to kill anyone with the snap of his fingers, including her. He wanted them to know about the masked man who got off the on his body count, who tortured whoever he felt like, no matter how innocent they were. He wanted them to know about the stoner in the purple hoodie and black beanie who sniped whoever he was told to and then got back playing Pokemon on his fucking DS.

This crew was a bit of a mess. Most people would look at this crew and wonder how people so different could work so well together. They all had different ways of thinking, had different ways of killing, different feelings about it. That never stopped them though. Geoff wanted to heist to prove it to all of those people that doubted this crew, that they were unstoppable. Their bodies may not be immortal, but their names would be. Geoff wanted kids in high school to read all about this gang, to fear them even though their dead. He was going to make this crew immortal, even if it was the last thing he did.

“ _Brinnngggg. Brinnngggg,_ ” the phone began to ring, snapping Geoff out of this thoughts.

“Hello?” he answered, his voice cracked as usual. Another thing that made it hard to be the leader of the most notorious gang in Los Santos, he still sounded like he was going through fucking puberty.

“Geoff. It’s Burnie. I got your email, and I just to make sure that you’re certain about this. Do you really think that your crew can handle this?” his friend asked.

“I’ve never been more sure about something in my life,” he replied. “Hell, if everything goes as planned then I’ll get a new tattoo in memory of the Grand Heist.”

“You do realize what’s at risk here? Someone in your crew could easily fucking die Geoff.”

“I know Burnie. I know. But that’s a risk that I’m willing to take.”


End file.
